Welcome to “‘Sup Bitch, It’s Remy,” your go-to destination for navigating life’s complexities with clarity, compassion, and a touch of wit. Whether you’re needing advice on how to navigate a problem with business or finance, my several years of business experience is sure to help!
Perhaps you need me to assist you in dealing with a personal problem, or an issue with friends or family – I will be blunt, and tell you what others are too afraid to say! Perhaps your love life is in a rut, and you need to be pointed in the right direction – in which case, this isn’t the column for you – KIDDING. My colorful and tumultuous history with love and relationships has equipped me to help you deal with ANY issue, so bring it on! Whatever advice you need, I’m here for you!
Hi Remy! I love playing video games with my boyfriend, but I’m starting to think he doesn’t like playing video games with me. He always wants me to play the “pocket healer” or follow him and do what he says. I feel like his personal servant in games, not his girlfriend playing with him! Our relationship is perfect otherwise, so how do I fix this problem?
Gosh that does sound like an annoying problem to have! Since you mentioned that your relationship with him is in a great place outside of this issue, I definitely don’t think you need to throw out the boyfriend. If you want to take a gentler approach, sit him down and explain that you love spending time with him, but you feel like you’d enjoy it more if it was more of a co-operative experience, rather than him dragging you along in the game for his own personal use. Spend some time browsing for games that you’d both enjoy playing together and suggest those to him. Reassure him that you definitely want to game with him, and that you want to feel like a partner rather than a servant.
If that doesn’t work, then your only option is to spend some solo time perfecting your skills in his current game of choice, and then show him how it’s done. It might not hurt to remind him that his skill issues while gaming are his alone, and that he shouldn’t be relying on having you as a personal medic in-game. Might hurt his ego a bit, but sometimes you just gotta just be blunt about things! If all else fails, leave him to his own devices and find a game that you can enjoy on your own, or with friends! He might just feel a bit left out and see that he’d have more fun if he was sharing an experience with you rather than using you for his gaming advancements. Best of luck!
Me and my ex broke up about a year ago. We still share mutual friends and run in the same circles. It was a bad break up and we haven’t really talked since. I’m tired of things being awkward. I’ve tried to talk to her and she just shuts down. I mostly just end up ignoring her and it just turns the party vibe bad. What should I do to make things less weird? do I need to make new friends? help me out on this one, Remy
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this, especially after such a long time has passed since your breakup. I’m a huge proponent for communication, but it sounds like your attempts at communication have been shut down by her. What I would do is give it one more last-ditch effort at explaining how you feel, and explaining what your concerns are – but do it in a way where she has to hear you out without turning you away. It’s possible that she still has lingering feelings for you, or unresolved anger over the breakup and that’s why she shuts down when you speak to her about it. I would write out an email or a letter, and make sure to outline your concerns and how you’d like to see things change not just for the two of you, but for your circle of friends as well. Explain that you want to be able to co-exist with her and after that, leave the ball in her court.
You can’t control how other people behave or react unfortunately, but if she doesn’t want to make the effort to at least be cordial with you, then that’s on her. Don’t be afraid to speak to your friends separately about this, and explain that you’ve attempted to make things more comfortable for everyone. Beyond that, all you can do is just do you. You can initiate hangouts for yourself and your friends that don’t involve her, or set boundaries for yourself to exit a party when things start feeling off. Don’t feel guilty for removing yourself from a potentially toxic or uncomfortable situation. Your friends will follow, especially if they recognize that you are the person in this that is trying to move on. Best of luck to you.
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