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Spring 2024 Election: Governor Profiles

Becks Lawson Avatar

We’re currently in the middle of a very unusual campaign season. For the first time, registration and campaigning is running parallel. This, combined with a huge amount of public interest in running for office, makes the political landscape difficult to follow. Shout News is compiling profiles on each candidate, so you can catch up on the issues. This is currently a work-in-progress; we will add new candidate profiles as they sign up, and we will remove any candidate who is disqualified from the race.

In order of registration:

UPDATE (May 16, 2024): Robyn Finn has resigned from the election, citing “life events leading to a change in priorities.” Three citizens (Owen Kandisky, Piper Riggs, and Aaron Peters) have signed up for the race, pending approval due to felony charges in the last three months.

UPDATE (May 20, 2024): Leeroy Biffins and Henry Callaghan have withdrawn from the race for Governor. Kandisky, Riggs, and Peters were not approved as candidates. Liam Cavanagh has updated his running mate to Samuel Wells. We have updated our Governor Profiles to reflect the final choices available to voters.

Ella Bright-Starr

Running mate: Quinn Lillegard-Marino

Political Party: Felines

Ella Bright-Starr, formerly Ella Bright, has a long history in the legal field of San Andreas. She has worked with attorneys like Nigel Barrington, Thomas Queen, Igor Fedarov, and Kayla Harlaw, before going on to serve as the Acting State Public Defender. She later collaborated with her partner, Richard Starr, to gain increased understanding of other departments. “I want to bring it all together. I want the state to become one again,” she said in conversation with Shout News.

Bright-Starr states that her campaign will focus on matters of interest. “My platform is the people. They’re the ones who are going to raise me up to where I am,” she said. She spoke to some of the most urgent issues in the state: public frustration with the police, inter-departmental conflicts, and a focus on criminalizing the public of San Andreas. Ella Bright-Starr has co-founded the Felines political party with her running mate, Quinn Lillegard-Marino.

Liam Cavanagh

Running mate: Samuel Wells

Political party: Republican

Liam Cavanagh, a former Sheriff of the Blaine County Sheriff’s office and a Deputy Marshal, is indisputably the law and order candidate of this election. He has taken a leave from the Marshals Service in order to run, and introduces himself as “a father, husband, man of God, and a man of justice.” Cavanagh is focused on the crime sprees that afflict San Andreas, stating a number of policies to help quench the flood of illegal acts. These policies include:

  • A travel ban on all British citizens entering the state until we can figure out the crime issue
  • Remove UBI and free health care
  • Restrict gun laws so your average citizen can have access to high powered firearms
  • Cut back on taxes that homeowners pay
  • Equip law enforcement with the tools needed to combat the criminal element

“There’s so many terrorists running around this god damn state. Anyone who robs a bank is a terrorist in my view, as they’re terrorizing democracy, the pursuit of happiness, and the concept of liberty,” said Cavanagh in conversation with Shout News. He added, “I am not a dog murderer.”


11 responses

  1. Jamison Avatar
    Jamison

    All that and still not a single candidate that isn’t either terrible or bound to be disqualified for not having an *actual* running-mate. Is it too much to ask for to have a Governor candidate that knows the law and isn’t an asshole? If this ends up being the final line-up, it’ll be the first time I don’t vote, because voting for nobody will be better than supporting any of these terrible choices.

  2. Anon Avatar
    Anon

    Ella Bright-Starr’s says “a focus on criminalizing the public of San Andreas”. So she’s going to criminalise the public so her law firm can rake in the money “defending” (they don’t win cases) them in the cells? 💀

    1. Ella Bright-Starr Avatar
      Ella Bright-Starr

      Considering my law firm do not charge people this point is Fake.
      Ask anyone in the state, They all know it and now you do to.

      1. Jamison Avatar
        Jamison

        Your ads say you don’t charge *unless it goes to court*. So, what you’re saying is, you never charge because no one chooses you as their lawyer to go to court with? That’s enough confirmation that the people of San Andreas shouldn’t choose you as their Governor.

      2. Anon Avatar
        Anon

        There was literally a yeet a few days ago to only pick you as a defense attorney if they want the chair lol I love how you didn’t even back down on the statement of “and a focus on criminalizing the public of San Andreas” 🤣

        1. Anonymous Legal Mogul Avatar
          Anonymous Legal Mogul

          +1

      3. ALSO ANON LIKE EVERYONE ELSE Avatar
        ALSO ANON LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

        Ain’t no way you just said “Fake News.”

  3. Concerned Sandy Resident Avatar
    Concerned Sandy Resident

    lamb caviar keeps killing my gawd dang poodles!

  4. Owen Kandinsky Avatar
    Owen Kandinsky

    HEY HOW COME IM NOT LISTED EVEN THO IM REGISTERED NO 1 HAS EVEN REACHED OUT

    IM A VICTIM OF POLICE BRUTALITY AND IM GOING 2 MAKE SURE IT DOESNT HAPPEN TO U!!

    #DisarmThePolice
    #Owen2024

  5. FudgelaneBatman Avatar
    FudgelaneBatman

    Running mate has indeed peaked my interest

  6. The Collector Avatar
    The Collector

    I would love to hear who Biffins actually talked to from DHS, because I’m pretty sure he actually hasn’t. Most definitely shouldn’t be claiming any ‘credit’ for actually doing anything.

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