CLOUT Magazine June 2021

Well, darlings, it’s been one hell of a month. CLOUT went from an indie darling to a corporate property and then back to indie in the space of about 25 days. Needless to say, that isn’t the easiest thing.

Luckily for everyone involved, I was able to #girlboss up and take the reins back no problem. Now, we’re back to what you expect from a brand like CLOUT: culture, fashion, and politics.

I’ve worked as a newsroom pro before, and journalism will keep a special place in my heart… but at the end of the day, I’m a boss bitch who loves drama.

Needless to say, this first print issue of CLOUT has the tea. It also has entertainment, night spots in Los Santos and beyond, autobiographical writing, and some really sexy outfits.

Enough foreplay. Let’s get right to it.

Shuffle Nightclub Feature

The Shuffle Nightclub is an oasis of chill in the middle of Los Santos’s city streets, and it’s a CLOUT essential.

Let’s be honest, sometimes living in this city sucks. If you’re not choking on the fumes from traffic, some guy in a wolf mask is dragging you out of your car so you can serve as a hostage in his maddened rampage.

The Shuffle, on the other hand, knows exactly what we need to get through another dangerous, demanding week in this scorching hot city: a cold drink, some great music, and a few hours to just dance the stress away.

If you ask Antonio Ariez to define the Shuffle in one word, he keeps it simple: “Class.” If you ask Becks Lawson to define the Shuffle in one word, I’d have to go with “post-cringe.”

In an era where TikTok and YouTube have gone and overtaken red carpets and movie premieres, the idea of Vinewood glamor is difficult to pull off.

The Shuffle just goes ahead and does that anyways by committing hard to the bit. It’s gloriously free of irony, and that’s exactly the ticket to pulling off a nightclub like the Shuffle.

CLOUT Nightlife Ranking:

I don’t want mandatory military service. I want mandatory GoPostal duty.

If you want to see the real world, from London to Los Santos, you should drive a delivery truck.

Here’s a dirty little secret about me that you probably didn’t know: I’ve been completely and totally broke before. Pinching pennies, eating ramen, dodging my landlord kind of broke. You know how I got out of that mess?

Driving GoPostal.

GoPostal’s not glamorous work, but what’s the alternative? Wait for two-day delivery for our packages?

It’s no secret the rise of next day delivery and constant online shipping has driven the demand for GoPostal drivers up. What you don’t know is that everyone treats GoPostal drivers like utter garbage. (Even the literal garbage drivers fare better.)

Some of the times I’ve felt the least alone and isolated in Los Santos is when I’m driving GoPostal, and I pass another truck.

(HONK HONK)

I’ve seen the inside of Mission Row and I’ve been to the worst neighborhoods in the city. I’ve grown so much from these weird experiences, and I wouldn’t have gone through them if not for the desire for same day delivery.

So it’s a controversial opinion, but I’ll be brave enough to say it – we should all drive GoPostal, at least once. It’s a good way to learn what it’s like to be at the absolute bottom of a totem pole, but still have comrades at your shoulder. It builds character.